


Winner

by fflewddur_feanorion



Series: Splash AU [2]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Swimming, Feanor's questionable parenting skills, Flashbacks, M/M, clueless ace attempts to write romance?, mae's Dramatic Backstory, seriously Mae ask someone for help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28869831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fflewddur_feanorion/pseuds/fflewddur_feanorion
Summary: Maedhros started swimming because he had to, and quit for the same reason. At least, that's what he told everyone. Fingon wants to know the whole story.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno & Maedhros | Maitimo, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: Splash AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117187
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Winner

“So, why’d you quit?”

Maedhros froze. Fingon was perched on the highest bleacher, wrapped up in a towel like a human burrito. Under literally any other circumstances, Maedhros would have found it cute. Now, though, all he could think of were those four words.

_ Why’d you quit?  _ Maedhros had been asked that question dozens of times, by dozens of people. Teammates, coaches, his brothers. (Not Maglor, of course. Maglor knew. Maglor probably knew before  _ Maedhros  _ did-- he was that good at reading people.)

Maedhros had given them all different answers. He was cracking down on schoolwork, he needed a break, he’d gotten hurt and was doing PT. (None of these were actually true, except for maybe the second one. He  _ did  _ need a break.) 

Maybe people believed him. Maybe they didn’t. But Maedhros had quit six months ago, and eventually the questions had stopped for good. Or so he’d thought.

Would he never get away from it all? 

“I…” His voice cracked. Why was he getting upset? Fingon had done nothing wrong. “I need to go.”

Fingon’s eyes widened. “Oh my God. Sorry. Did I…”

Maedhros shook his head vehemently. “No. No, you’re fine. I just… I need to go.” 

He made it out the door before he started to cry. God, this was embarrassing. He couldn’t drive home like this… oh, wait. He’d taken the bus.

Who could he call? Not Feanor, that was for sure. His father wouldn’t be condescending (at least, not to Maedhros’ face) but he’d  _ worry, _ and that would be worse. Nerdanel was at the studio, and Celegorm… where the hell  _ was  _ Celegorm? Maedhros didn’t know.

“Hey… Hey, Maglor? Can you come pick me up?”

_ “Feanaro, he’s too young,” Nerdanel protested. “Won’t practice be too much for him? He’s barely eight.” _

_ Feanor was not concerned. “They let eight-year-olds in, don’t they? Maedhros is faster than almost anyone else his age. It’ll be good for him to have some competition.” _

_ “All right,” Nerdanel said dubiously. “Why don’t we ask him? Maedhros, would you like to join the swim team?” _

_ Maedhros thought about it. Swimmers competed against each other. He liked to swim, but was nowhere near as competitive as his father. Even five-year-old Celegorm was more aggressive than him. What if the other kids were mean? What if he lost all his races?  _

_ Maedhros looked up at the row of pictures mounted on the wall. There was his parents' wedding photo, a few pictures of him and his brothers… and one photo of Feanor, standing on a podium and grinning. The meet he'd qualified for nationals. Maedhros had heard that story several times. _

_ Feanor loved swimming. This was abundantly clear. Maybe Maedhros could learn to love it too. _

_ "Yeah," he said. "I'd like that." _

Fingon was an absolute idiot.

Maedhros clearly hadn’t wanted to talk about… whatever the hell had happened last year. In fact, that was one of the first things he’d told Fingon-- he wasn’t a legend, he wasn’t unbeatable, and could Fingon please avoid that subject?

But they’d been friends for over a month now, and Fingon was starting to get curious. He only knew what everyone knew: Maedhros had started winning races in freshman year, made it all the way to sectionals,  _ almost  _ qualified for nationals, then quit.

Fingon knew there was more to the story… but that didn’t mean he was entitled to  _ bring it up _ ! Maedhros had sounded really upset. What if he stopped talking to Fingon? Mae didn’t seem like the type to ghost people, but you never knew…

Fingon groaned and flopped back onto the bleachers. He had to find Maedhros and apologize, that much was clear. But how? Maedhros would have already left by now, and Fingon had no idea where he lived. (Besides, he had a terrible sense of direction. Once, he’d gotten lost while walking Finrod’s dog and wandered in circles for almost thirty minutes.) 

Oh. Right. He had a phone.

finno: mae?

finno: Sorry about what I said. It was none of my business and I’m really sorry if it made you upset. 

A few feet away from him, something vibrated. Fingon looked up. It was Maedhros’ phone. He must have forgotten it.

“Well, crap,” Fingon said aloud. “I’ve got to find him now.” But how was he going to do that? He knew most of Maedhros’ brothers, but didn't know any of their phone numbers. Well, except...

"CELEGORM!"

"What?" 

"Do you know where Maedhros is? It's really important!" Fingon hoped he didn't sound too frantic. (Everything was fine. Really. He was probably just overreacting.) 

"Why?" Celegorm asked smugly. Fingon could almost hear his teammate smirking.

"I…" Fingon gave up. "Look. I know you don't like me, and believe me, the feeling is mutual. I just really,  _ really  _ need to find Maedhros and apologize."

"Apologize?" Celegorm's voice grew harsher. "Did you hurt him? Cause if you did…"

"No! Yes?” Fingon sighed in exasperation. “Look, I don't  _ know _ . Can you please just tell me where he is?"

"Fine. He's headed back to the pool. Maglor says he forgot his phone."

" _ Thank _ you!" Fingon rolled his eyes. Talking to Celegorm was like explaining calculus to a four year old. It took far too long, was mostly pointless, and usually gave him a headache.

_ Maedhros was not a sprinter. _

_ Feanor was. So was little Curvo. But even after years of practicing, Maedhros knew he would never be  _ that  _ fast. _

_ He did have one advantage, though. He could keep going, and going, and going, long after everyone else was exhausted. Maedhros could swim until his legs were numb and he felt like he was going to vomit. And that was a good thing, apparently. _

_ He swam the Mile for the first time in eighth grade. Even then, he was taller than everyone else-- almost too tall to fit on the little diving block.  _

_ The first few hundred yards were easy, but then he started falling behind. Maedhros gritted his teeth. He was used to losing; he lost to his brothers all the time. But now his whole family was watching. He wouldn’t-- he  _ couldn’t  _ lose now. _

_ Maedhros sped up. His legs ached, and his heartbeat sped up more than he’d thought possible, but he couldn’t stop now. Maedhros passed one swimmer, than another, until he was at the front of the pack. _

_ Even underwater, he could hear Maglor cheering. _

_ Two hundred yards left. Maedhros felt like he couldn’t possibly swim another inch... but he kept going. He had to win. He had to win. He had to… _

_ Maedhros finished nearly thirty seconds in front of everyone else. (He was surprised. He’d thought he was slower than that.) Up on the bleachers, Feanor was beaming at him. _

_ Maedhros smiled back. In that moment, he felt like he could swim a million miles. _

_ "You're a natural," Feanor said later. "With that kind of talent, you could make it to nationals someday!" _

_ Nationals. Maedhros wanted that. He really did. So why did he feel so… so scared? _

__ Maglor was pissed.

First he'd had to leave rehearsal early to pick up his brother. Who, by the way, was completely  _ wrecked.  _ Then, Maedhros wouldn't tell him what was wrong, which only made Maglor angrier. How was he supposed to know who to kill  _ now _ ?

Maglor wasn't exaggerating. Sure, his brothers drove him insane ninety percent of the time, but if someone really hurt them… well. Celegorm's baseball bat was still in the backseat.

Maglor parked next to the curb (okay, fine,  _ on  _ the curb, he wasn't the best at parking) and got out. "Do you want to go in, or should I?"

Maedhros took a few seconds to respond. "Can you? My phone's on the bleachers.”

“Okay.” Maglor walked into the pool. As the warm, chlorine-filled air enveloped him, he couldn’t help but relax. This was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

Wait. “Fingon? Why are you here?”

“Swimming. What do you think?” Fingon’s eyes were puffy and red, as if he’d been crying. Maglor didn't know who he thought he was fooling. 

“The pool’s supposed to be _locked_ ,” Maglor pointed out. “And as far as I know, you don’t have a key.”

“Oh. Um.” Fingon’s ears turned red. “Mae let me in. We were…”

“Ohhhh. So  _ you’re  _ the reason my brother’s been hanging out at the pool?” Maglor laughed. “Oh my God. This is insane.” Maedhros hadn’t been to the pool in  _ months _ , not since… well, since last year’s sectionals. Now, he was going there almost every day… but with a  _ Nolofinwean?  _

“It’s not… We’re not…” Fingon sighed. “We met a few months ago. He’s been helping me.”

Maglor raised his eyebrows. “Okay?”

“Shut your---” Fingon’s eyes widened. “ _ Mae _ !”

_ After he won that first race, Maedhros didn’t stop. _

_ He made it into varsity as a freshman. He tried out other races, like the 400 and the 800, but the Mile was  _ his  _ race. When he swam it, he was unbeatable. _

_ Or so everyone said. _

_ Maedhros didn’t feel unbeatable. He felt nervous, and tired, and burned-out. But he still kept winning races. At the end of freshman year, he made it to state. Sophomore year, he became state champion. _

_ Junior year, he made it to sectionals. “This is it,” Feanor said. “If you win now, you’ll make it to nationals.” _

_ Maedhros nodded. He twisted his hair back and stuffed it into a cap. “I’ve got this.” _

_ “I know.” _

It happened in slow motion.

Maedhros walked in, and Fingon took off towards him--  _ completely  _ ignoring the numerous signs which warned him not to run on the pool deck. (To his credit, he made it four whole steps before slipping.)

“Fingon, NO!” Maedhros yelled, but it was too late. Fingon skidded across the wet tiles, ricocheted off the ladder and tumbled into the deep end. 

Maedhros rushed to the edge. Fingon was wearing a big puffy coat-- what if he couldn’t move his arms enough to swim? What if he  _ drowned _ ? Before Maedhros could even think, he was kicking off his shoes and diving into the water.

He hadn’t been in the water since… well, since he’d quit the team, but kicking was as easy as ever. Maedhros opened his eyes despite the chlorine, searching for Fingon.  _ Please don’t drown, _ he thought desperately as his lungs began to burn.  _ You can’t get hurt, I don’t know  _ what  _ I’d do without you… _

Someone grabbed his arm and hauled him upwards. Maedhros broke the surface, gasping. “What...”

Fingon was treading water and glaring at him-- an impressive display of multitasking. “I’m a swimmer, you idiot. I’m  _ fine _ .”

“Finno…”

“Excuse me,” Maglor said from the bleachers. “If you two are done, I stole you some towels.”

Five minutes later, Maedhros and Fingon were sitting on the bleachers wrapped in towels. (Fingon’s had purple polka dots, and Maedhros’ had a gigantic Spider-Man logo. They didn’t ask where Maglor had found the towels. Some things were better not to know.) Besides, Maglor had already left: he'd parked the car illegally and  _ really _ didn't want to get towed again. 

“Oh,” Fingon realized. “I forgot to apologize, didn’t I?”

“It’s fine,” said Maedhros. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I… I should probably explain.”

“You don’t have to,” Fingon insisted. “It’s none of my business.”

“No, I want to.” Maedhros took a deep breath. “I guess-- I guess it started a long time ago.

“I’ve always been good at distance. Even when I was a kid, I could swim and swim until I almost passed out from exhaustion. Once I started swimming the Mile, I realized that  _ this  _ was my race. I understood it, and I was good at it. You can imagine how thrilled my father was when he found out.”

Maedhros sighed. “I started winning races, and I didn’t stop. I went to extra training sessions and swam until my legs went numb. I became almost unbeatable. Almost. Then, in junior year, I made it to-- to sectionals. I knew that if I won one more race, I would go to nationals. Just like my father. That was what he wanted. It was what I wanted, too.” Maedhros shrugged. “And you all know what happened next.”

“You lost?” Fingon guessed. 

“Yep. Around the five-hundred mark, I started getting side cramps. I felt like I was being stabbed. I kept going, but I came in fourth place.  _ Fourth _ . I needed to win, and I… I didn’t even make it on the podium.” 

Fingon made a face. “Oh. That sucks.”

“I wish I could say…” Maedhros grimaced. “I wish I could say it ended there. But when I came to practice the next day, I just couldn’t make myself get in the water. Every time I tried, I felt so-- so  _ scared.  _ Like I was going to mess up again. In the end, I pretended to be sick and went home. Then the next day, it happened again. I don’t know why.”

Fingon stared at his friend, horrified. " _ Mae _ . You never told me."

"I didn't know how," Maedhros admitted. "A week later, I told Father I was quitting."

"You're not a failure," Fingon said immediately. "You were under too much pressure, and you panicked. That's  _ okay. _ And if your dad can't see that, maybe  _ he's _ the one with the problem."

Maedhros shook his head. "Don't tell him that," he cautioned. "But… thank you." 

No one had ever told him that before, Maedhros realized. Nerdanel and Maglor had been supportive, but even they hadn't addressed it directly.  _ He wasn't a failure _ . Maedhros wasn't sure if this was true, but Fingon wouldn't lie to him.

"If you don't mind my asking," Fingon said, "why were you at the pool the day we met?"

"I stayed away from the pool for months. Then, one day, I was feeling really stressed out. I figured I'd just sit on the bleachers for a while-- the pool would be quiet, because who the hell goes swimming at nine o'clock on a weeknight? And then you and your sister showed up."

"Oh. Oops." Fingon grinned sheepishly. "Ari and I have many amazing qualities, but "quiet" is not one of them."

Maedhros laughed. "Yeah. You showed up, with your crazy energy and your lopsided turns, and I couldn't help it. I had to talk to you." He paused. "Oh. That sounds strange. What I meant was--"

"Maedhros?" 

"Yes?" When had Fingon gotten so close?

"I  _ get _ it," said Fingon, and kissed him.

_ What?  _ Maedhros thought.  _ No way. This can't be happening.  _ The last few hours felt almost surreal, like a fever dream. A really, incredibly good dream, but a dream nonetheless. 

Fingon pulled away, eyes wide. "Oh my God. Sorry. I know this is a bad time, I don't know what I was thinking,  _ please _ …"

Even in his addled state of mind, Maedhros knew that something was wrong. Fingon was sad, and that should  _ never  _ happen. 

Maybe this was real after all.

"Apology accepted," Maedhros said. (Not that there was anything to apologize for.) Then he leaned in and kissed Fingon back. 

They would figure something out. Even if Feanor disowned him, even if he never found the courage to get back in the water, they would figure something out... because f or the first time in several months, Maedhros felt _hope_. And no one was going to take that away from him.


End file.
